How to chat with a girl on facebook before asking her out (2023)

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Thanks to the Internet, you no longer need to physically approach someone you are interested in to ask them out. Now free dating apps can help you connect with potential partners and chat with them electronically.

But what if a girl catches your eye on Facebook? How do you start a conversation with a girl on Facebook and get to know her without scaring her off?

Let's discuss some top tips on how to approach a girl on Facebook and increase your chances of dating.

1. Make sure your Facebook profile isn't weird

Years ago, most people would quickly accept any Facebook friend request that came their way. now thanks toregular hits do facebookand spammers, smart users don't add people they don't know.

So before you send a friend request to a girl or start chatting, take a look at your own Facebook profile. Be sure to use a clear photo of yourself and not an animated character or a random picture of nature. If you have an inside joke as your middle name, change it so it doesn't sound weird. Make sure your school and place of work are correct so you can be identified.

They will likely take a look at your profile before deciding whether to accept your friend request, so make sure it represents you well.

2. Consider your approach to the first message

After cleaning up your profile, the next step is to consider what your relationship with this girl is. The best way to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook depends on how well you know her.

If it's a new girl you've never met and have no connections with:Good luck. You can also send him a friend request and hope for the best. If you send him a message, chances are it will end up in his filtered inbox where you'll never see it. You don't have many options other than sending him a request.

If you are not friends with her on Facebook but have mutual friends:Are there photos or anything else interesting on Facebook involving the two of you? Maybe the two of you went to a festival with mutual friends and there's a photo in which you were both tagged. Commenting something general about the event in that photo will at least let her know you exist. Try to do something like this before you send him a friend request so he has an idea of ​​who you are.

If you are already friends with her on Facebook:You should seriously consider asking her out via a method other than Facebook. If you're too nervous to do that, text him to let him know you're going to an event this weekend and would like him to join you. Don't make it a "date" and don't press the situation. Ideally, you should gather a few friends to go, so it's a group of friends hanging out rather than a proper "date".

Almost every situation will fall into one of these three scenarios. To ask a girl out on Facebook, you need to have some sort of friendship connection with her so that she can see messages from her. If you haven't sent him a friend request yet, it all depends on whether he accepts it or not.

3. How to Chat with a Girl on Facebook

Suppose the girl you like decides to add you as a friend on Facebook. Now you can contact her through Messenger. Assuming she doesn't know you very well, her initial message should introduce you and reassure her that you're not a spammer or weirdo.

If you have mutual friends, start by mentioning who you know, like this:

"Hi Molly, I'm Josh! Facebook told me that we both know Sarah Smith, and I remember talking to you once at a Smash Mouth concert. Have you heard their latest album?"

This lets you know who you are because you have a mutual friend and you discuss something that interests you both right away. It's a simple and effective first message, even to a girl you barely know.

Since you're now friends on Facebook, take a few minutes to check out her profile and see what she's interested in. Check out the different tabs belowAboutyour page to see what you did in school and what your current job is. Some people add their favorite quotes, media, or random details about themselves to theDetails about [Name]section, but this is not very common.

Take a look at her recent photos to see what she's been up to lately. Anything you can learn about her that gives you something interesting to talk about is key.

How to Message a Girl on Facebook You Don't Know

If you're trying to ask out a girl you don't know, try something like your first message:

"Hi Haley! I'm Mike. We've never met, but your profile popped up as a recommended friend on my Facebook feed and you caught my eye. I saw your profile picture of you at the Grand Canyon, is this? have you been there? I visited with my family last year and it was one of the coolest places I've ever seen.

There's no guarantee that something like this will work, but to be honest, it's as good a strategy as any. If she responds, continue with a natural conversation. Don't be weird: just talk to him like a human being.

4. How to Ask a Girl Out on Facebook (Properly)

After chatting for a while on Facebook, you should stop and evaluate the interactions so far before continuing. When you send him a message, does he respond in a timely manner? Is there a back-and-forth conversation, or do you tend to get one-word responses like "Yes" and "OK"? Has he shown any interest in you or does he feel like he's just putting up with you?

Consider these questions carefully. If the two of you have had fun talking and it sounds like she would like a reunion, give it a try. But if she doesn't seem interested when you have a good conversation, she probably isn't interested in a date.

At this point, if you still don't want to ask her out, try asking her for her phone number. This way, you can communicate via text messages or a messaging app like WhatsApp. With this, you can try to chat more often throughout the day instead of just using Facebook.

If you feel interested after chatting for a while on another platform, try asking her out over the phone instead of Facebook. This should have better results and is more personal.

The Big Moment: Asking Her Out

If you want to forget all that and ask a girl out (or maybe "toast" or "essentially" a girl as some say) on Facebook right now, ask the question tastefully. People know that others on the Internet are not always what they seem, so you shouldn't do anything weird.

For example, you certainly don't want to invite him to some remote location with you alone. You might suggest spending time in a group similar to the above, or trying something like this pretty safe request:

"Norah, I've really enjoyed talking to you the last few weeks and would love to take you out on a date. How about we meet for coffee at Starbucks on Oak Avenue this Saturday afternoon?"

Keep in mind two important facets of this: meeting in a public place and setting a specific time to meet. You don't want to invite her to your grandparents' cabin in the woods for a weekend, as that's creepy.

It's also important to avoid generalizations when it comes to date details. Don't leave it open to "get out sometime". Instead, mention a specific date and time period so I can give you a straight answer. Make it clear that this is a date and that you are interested in being more than friends.

Possible responses after asking her out

Once you ask her out on Facebook, it can happen in a number of ways:

  • Unfriends you and/or blocks youπŸ‡§πŸ‡· If his request annoys you so much that you decide to unfriend him, let him go and move on. Don't complain to your mutual friends about her or try to come up with some scenario to talk to her again.
  • she does not answerπŸ‡§πŸ‡· If so, wait a few days; don't obsessively search for an answer. After a while, check Messenger to make sure he saw his message and isn't on vacation or something. If you saw it but didn't reply, you can follow once: "Hi Norah, just wanted to make sure you saw my message above." Failure to respond to this means she is not interested. Do not attempt to contact her again; Leave her alone.
  • she says noDon't argue or ask why. You might say something like, "No problem, just thought I'd see if you were interested." So it's up to you to continue to chat with her as a friend or not. If you try to continue the conversation and she seems distant, it's probably best to move on.
  • She gives you a vague answer or an excuse.πŸ‡§πŸ‡· Sometimes, in order to "let you down easily", girls won't give you a straight "no" when you ask them out. Instead, they'll provide an excuse, which might leave you wondering whether to pursue the matter further. In that case, you should follow Brad Pitt's rule:
  • she acceptsπŸ‡§πŸ‡· If she says she'd be happy to go, great! Confirm details with her so you are on the same page. You should also ask for her phone number (if you don't already have it) so that you can contact her in case something happens on the day of your appointment.

5. How to Talk to Girls on Facebook: Some No-Nos

We've gone over the steps and potential pitfalls of asking a girl out on Facebook. In closing, let's discuss some methods you should avoid. Trying to get a girl's attention with this will make you look like an idiot, make her uncomfortable, and end well:

  • Do not send boring and generic messages.πŸ‡§πŸ‡· Don't send your first message to the girl you're interested in "Hi". Not only is this boring and says nothing about you, but it can also make him think you are aonline dating scammerπŸ‡§πŸ‡· Be unique: it's worth more than a presentation you created in two seconds.
  • DO NOT ask a girl out by public meansπŸ‡§πŸ‡· Aside from Messenger, almost everything you do on Facebook is visible to other people. Never try to flirt with a girl or ask her out via a status update, posting on her timeline, leaving a comment on her photo, etc. It's ridiculously childish, it will embarrass you and people will wonder what the hell you are. to do. Asking on Facebook is already easier than in person, so don't be a coward.
  • don't be scaryπŸ‡§πŸ‡· This one is self explanatory. Do not comment on dozens of your photos in a row. Send messages sparingly. avoid usingstupid pick up linesπŸ‡§πŸ‡· And never make rude or sexual comments. They aren't funny and they make you look like a teenager.
  • Don't act like your life depends on it.πŸ‡§πŸ‡· Be informal about the experience. You are only talking to one person and there will be a lot more opportunities to date people if they aren't interested.
  • Under no circumstances should you "touch" her on FacebookπŸ‡§πŸ‡· We're not sure why this feature even exists. Don't use this to flirt.

Have you ever asked a girl out on Facebook?

We've reviewed an end-to-end guide to approaching a girl on Facebook, talking to her, and asking her out. While it is possible to do this, it is not the best method.

We recommend that you use any other method available to ask out a girl you are interested in. If you have her phone number, call her. Ask a mutual friend to introduce you in person. Facebook messages are decent for getting someone's basic details, but they have a lot of drawbacks. Keep this in mind when deciding to message a girl on Facebook.

If Facebook isn't working, there are many online dating services where you're likely to get better results.

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