How often should I text her to keep her interested? (2023)

When you are in the courtship phase and trying to court and date a girl, your mind is clouded with countless questions. The “texting phase,” as Gen Z likes to call it today, comes with its own problems. do you text her enough are you texting her too much What does it mean if she answers immediately? What if she doesn't? So how often should you text a girl to pique her interest?

Text her too many and she might think you're too strong. She's not texting enough, and she might take that as a sign of disinterest. It can be difficult to strike a balance between being too desperate and being too distant, leaving you wondering, "How often should I text her?" it's no surprise.

This already tricky equation is made even more precarious by the fact that men's perspectives on texting can be radically different than girls'. We want to help you stay on top of your texting game with detailed information on how often to text a girl to pique her interest, what to send and when to stop.

Should you text her every day?

We know, we really know. Send her the meme that makes you think of her, send her a roll of the cutest husky on Instagram, or just the usual candygood morning text messages- You obviously can't get enough of this girl. It is therefore natural for you to click on the send button now. Every time you go online or call her, you can't help but forward something or ask her what she's up to.

While good texting skills are really crucial in the early stages of getting a girl to like you, if you do this too often, you'll spill milk on all your efforts. That's why it's important to learn where to draw the line and understand your limitations. "How often should I text her?" you asked? Well, certainly not every day. Unless she's the one who initiated it. Consider the following tips to help you determine how often to text a girl to pique her interest.

1. It depends on your dynamic

Is it annoying to text a girl every day? The answer to this question entirely depends on what stage you two are in. If you're not officially dating yet — hint: you've been on fewer than five dates — texting a girl every day is definitely annoying. There is no doubt about it. At this stage, you should limit texting frequency to a few times a week. It's best to do this when you know she can talk to you more freely. So evenings or weekends are a good idea to meet her and maybe the best time to text a girl you haven't gotten very close to.

That way, you create enough space for her to strike up conversations from time to time, too, and you won't have to ask yourself, "If I stop texting her, will she notice?" The only way to know is to give her the space to take the initiative every now and then.

Related reading:Texting for a Date - 15 tips to get it right

2. Note that she is probably busy

If you're texting a girl early in the dating period, keep in mind that she probably doesn't have all the time in the world to talk to you. Donna, a Boston-based marketer, says this is a definite red flag in the dating phase, but not quite. "There was a guy I loved talking to but he started texting way too much and even double texting every time I didn't reply for a few hours. One Friday I specifically told him I had a hard day's work followed by a girls' night out, but he just kept writing. That was the end."

Get your Bonobology relationship advice straight to your inbox

See Also

How to text women to reply (instructions)5 Things to Do When She Doesn't Respond to Your TextHow and When: Bulletproof Methods for Texting a Woman You Just MetHow to chat with a girl on facebook before asking her out

Donna thinks they could have gotten together if she hadn't seen the announcement.Sign of a devoted friendin him. If you don't want to end up like him, it's extremely important to respect boundaries and not invade the privacy of the girl you're talking to. You never know when your everyday good morning texts will start to feel really sticky.

3. You have to play hard to get

While it's important to make an effort to maintain your relationship with this woman, it's also necessary for you to share the courtship with her. Women are fed up with men bombarding them with text messages, which is something they are very, very prone to. Therefore, you should minimize your fear of this woman and watch her run after you. The answer to your question "How often should I text her?" That's it.

Text her enough to keep her engaged, but also try to get her to ask for more. Spending all night texting her and replying to her the same minute that she texts you gives her the idea that you are head over heels on this. While expressing your interest is one thing, you need to make sure she reciprocates. if you have toplay hard to geta little to make it work, so be it. So should you text her every day? Probably not if you want her to be interested too.

How often should you text a girl to pique her interest?

Or another way to ask this question is, "How many times should I text a girl without seeming desperate?" This led to several silencesDating SMS Rulesbecome the norm. So if you want to win this game you have to follow the rules.

Yes, it can be difficult to keep up with and comply with all of these rules that keep popping up and changing before you've had a chance to engage with them. You may even wonder why you can't just follow your heart. After all, why are these rules so important if all you want to do is text your crush?

Well, because they can save you the embarrassment and increase your chances of winning someone over with text messages alone. The crucial first piece of the puzzle is knowing how often you should text a girl to pique her interest. Here are some general guidelines to help you find the right balance:

Related reading: 31 signs a girl likes you but is trying not to show it

1. The best time to text a girl is as soon as you have her number.

Wondering when to start texting a girl you just met? Right after you get her number, a good place to start would be to text your crush. If you don't, she might think you're not interested and forget about you before she's even into you.

Mike, who is in his late 20s and is an active dater, says strategy has always worked for him. "When should you text a girl? Well, you should if she shares her number with you. Whether I get a girl's number online or in person, I text her within the first few hours claiming to share my number. After she responds, I make a point of moving the conversation forward because if you let it die at this stage, it can be very difficult to break the ice later. So folks, don't miss the opportunity.”

2. After coming back from a date

How often should I text a girl I met online? Did this question confuse you a little too much? Here's a good rule of thumb to follow. Never stop texting her after a date or after you two have spent time together. But do not do this immediately after parting. At least let her come home first.

It will surely make you look desperate. Instead, wait a few hours and then send a short, sweet message to let her know you had a good time. If you do this, it's better not to ask for a anymoresecond date🇧🇷 Again, you don't want to appear too eager. Give her and yourself time to process the experience before making or suggesting any further plans.

Related reading: How to tell if a girl likes you but is hiding it - 35 discreet signs

3. How often should I text her without sounding desperate? Text her when you think of her

Should I text her every day if she likes me? Well, probably not. But text her sometimes when you're really thinking about her. If you follow the guys' take on texting, you'll likely find a rhythm for your texting frequency for a girl that works for both of you and stick to it to be safe. While there's nothing wrong with that, it won't make you stand out and leave your mark on their hearts and minds.

Instead, try to find the answer to the question "How often should you text a girl to keep her interested" by approaching her from her point of view. Nothing would make a girl's heart beat faster and warm her more than an unexpected text saying you're thinking of her.

"Hey, I just ordered pizza from the place you said you loved and was thinking of you." A simple text like this can go a long way in winning her affection. Again, the key is not to overdo it. If you tell her every day that something reminds you of her while you're still getting to know each other, she could run away before you even realize what went wrong.

Related reading: How to Tell if a Girl Likes You Over Text - 21 Subtle Signs

What should I send a girl to pique her interest?

Now that we've settled your "How often should I text her?" dilemma, it would be wise to analyze what you probably should tell her to keep the conversation between the two of you going. In addition to the frequency of your texts, the content also plays a role. Nothing moves women more than the right words at the right time and in the right context. SMS is the perfect platform for you to use the power of words to tug at her heart.

What should I send a girl to pique her interest? If this question gives you sleepless nights every time you talk to someone new, here are a few.Conversation startersThis will make wrapping a smooth boat ride:

1. Keep your messages positive

Whether you're texting a girl you've just met or trying to move things along with someone you've been talking to for a while, keep the content and tone of your messages positive. You don't want to bore her with monotonous details of your day unless you're asked to.

At the same time, stay away from the mansplaining trap anddeny🇧🇷 Saying something like, "I saw a girl walking awkwardly in heels today and it reminded me of you" is a big NO. You want to captivate her, not offend her. Instead, try something like "The sunset was so beautiful today. For some reason it reminded me of you.« A text that hits the nail on the head.

2. Connect with pop culture in the beginning when texting a girl

Henry, who is back on the dating scene after ending a serious relationship, was at a loss as to how to conduct conversations with a stranger over text messages. “What should I send a girl to get her interested? Or when is the best time to text a girl? And even if I text her, what exactly should I say? These questions gave me a lotfear news, to the point where he avoided texting her. I would practically freeze my brain and not think of anything to say to the other person.

"After many disastrous interactions, I tried to break the ice with this girl by asking her for Netflix recommendations and it worked like a charm. We talked and realized that we have a lot in common. Unfortunately, we wanted different things, so it didn't go beyond a few dates, but it's become my go-to choice ever since. If you can't think of anything, discuss with her why you can't wait for the Game of Thrones spin-off. It should work.

Related reading: Flirt online – with our 21 tips you will never go wrong!

3. Check them out

We know we told you not to text her good morning every day, but you should try checking in on her every now and then to let her know you're around. You may even be wondering, "If I stop texting her, will she notice?" But have you ever thought that she might be thinking the same thing? So if you and the girl you're chatting with stop by every other day and haven't heard from her in a while, don't hesitate to reach out and ask what's up with her.

"Should I text her after a week of silence?" Well of course if you like this girl then you should. A week is a long time and you don't want to miss the connection the two of you have been working on. Don't hold back because you don't want to seem too desperate or egoless. A thoughtful but light-hearted message like "Hey Nemo, it's Dori. Have you disappeared again?' Letting them know you've noticed their absence can work beautifully.

4. Fun

Once you start talking, maybe it's time to go from "How many times should I text a girl I met online?" to "What should I send a girl to pique her interest?" InterestingQuestions to get to know them better🇧🇷 But it's just as important to ask the right questions.

You shouldn't invade her private life too much with questions about her past, previous relationships, ex-boyfriends, relationship with parents, and so on when you're texting a girl at first. Instead, keep it fun and light-hearted and focus on understanding who they are based on their likes, dislikes, passions, interests, and hobbies.

5. Don't skimp on flirting

If you do not wantin the dreaded friend zone, it is important to create sexual tension and keep it alive from the start. Even if you're texting a girl you've just met, flirt a little. When she responds, you can gradually increase the tempo. However, you should know where to draw the line between glamorous and spooky.

For example: “Your eyes cast a hypnotic spell on me. I can't take my eyes off your profile picture, it's a tasteful flirt. Then again, "That mole just above your cleavage gives me a hard-on" is downright creepy and offensive. You know the difference.

Related reading: How to get a girl to like you via text message?

When should you stop texting a girl?

Sometimes you can do and say the right things and still things might not work out between you and the girl you are trying to woo. You can feel the chemistry slipping away, but you may not know when to take a step back. It might give you a hint that your texting phase is coming to an end. Or she just answers you with K's and Hmm's. As irritating as that may be, perhaps you should heed the hint and say goodbye soon.

So when should you stop texting a girl? Are there any telltale signs that she's not interested despite not saying so in so many words? Turns out there are quite a few. Here's when to stop texting a girl:

• she stops answering: You sent her 6 text messages in two weeks and she didn't reply to any of them. This is your cue to quietly step out of their lives and into greener pastures. If she has a valid reason — a medical emergency, family issues, work issues — why she's not responding but is still interested, sooner or later she'll reach out and let you know.
• Your answers are short:If you're sending long, heartfelt messages and she replies in monosyllabic, stop. It's not worth investing that much time and energy into someone who doesn't reciprocate.
• She takes no initiative.Should I text her every day if she likes me? Maybe she likes you and evenalways replies to your messages but never starts conversations🇧🇷 If this behavior makes you wonder, "If I stop texting her, will she notice?" give it a try. Don't text her for a while, and if she doesn't get back to you, that's a sign you need to stop too.
• She asked you to withdraw:If a girl has specifically told you that she's not interested in taking things further, you should definitely stop texting her.
• They have nothing in common:If, after a few days of interaction, you've found that the two of you are like apples and oranges, it's best not to waste their time and yours. Stop writing and move on
• You connected to someone else:It's not uncommon to text two or three potential clients at the same time. Once you've formed a deeper, more meaningful connection with someone, it's best to stop texting the other girls at the track so you can focus on that person.

As Kenny Rogers says, “You have to know when to hold them. Know when to fold them. Know when to go away. And know when to run. The same principle applies to how often you should text a girl and when to stop. These general guidelines will help you up your texting game and turn online interactions into real-life dating.

frequently asked questions

11 tips to get over someone you've never dated

50 signs a girl likes you - you can't go wrong with these!

How do you know if someone is right for you? do this test